CNF Online Journal 1: “My Name.”

Ash Estremadura
3 min readMar 16, 2021

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Beauty beyond what’s humanly possible. Victory in every pursuit. Luck beyond your wildest dreams. These are things unachievable with just effort and aspirations. Thus, we rely on some external and unseen force to grant our wishes. Maybe a routine or set of actions you can do that will somehow grant you more luck, or a desirable outcome. Maybe items like talismans, lucky charms. Some people rely on gods. My father was one of these people.

I could call him pretentious, but that would be mean. He read a book entitled “The Richest Man in Babylon”, and was enlightened beyond compare. This book is actually one of those Financial advice/self-help books, things I would never dare open. Much to my amusement, this very book is creative non-fiction. In the book lies a collection of parables set in ancient Babylon, and my Dad’s inspiration.

To some men, good luck bespeaks but a chance happening that, like an accident, may befall one without purpose or reason. Others do believe that the instigator of all good fortune is our most bounteous goddess, Ashtar, ever anxious to reward with generous gifts those who please her.

- The Richest Man in Babylon (Clason, 1926)

She was a goddess of good luck, and my father believed that giving me this name would allow me to inherit her blessing. He had hoped that this luck would carry me through the rough tides of life, attaining victory in all my pursuits. In my 8th grade at Rural, I was pleasantly surprised to find my name in one of our world religions lessons. In that particular class “Astar” was introduced as a Babylonian goddess of war and beauty. It was different from the goddess of luck I believed her to be, but it was very interesting regardless. It was also very flattering to know that my namesake was not only blessing me with good luck, but also beauty and good fighting skills. That likely makes me sound awfully delusional but I digress. I would like to read a lot more about Babylonian mythology, if only for this strange connection I feel.

A happy bonus is the discovery I made when I was 13, looking up my name on the internet. There is apparently a big figure in the extraterrestrial community named “Ashtar”. Popularized in the 1950s, Ashtar is an alien who has apparently sent celestial messages to humans. There is a whole “Ashtar movement”, and the whole belief is firmly recognized as a UFO religion. I’m glad that both my namesakes seem to be celestial beings who have great and unspeakable power. While I do not personally believe in alien Ashtar, or worship goddess Ashtar, this mortal Ashtar humbly asks for their blessings and guidance.

Regardless of the rarity of my name, and the unusual looks I get when I correct people — no, Ash is not short for Ashley — I love my name. Although, usually I just go by “Ash”, lest people find trouble with pronouncing “Ashtar”. It is endearing to hear Astar, Asthar, or the cute Ashstar. Many people get it correct from the first try, but odd misses are inevitable. Especially dear to me is my 2nd Grade English teacher, who would call me Ashter with a very fancy accent. She would often say “faster” when a student asked to go to the bathroom, and we could never tell if she was calling for me “Ashter” or telling them to come back “faster”.

My name is dear to me, although I sometimes bemoan it’s strangeness when compared to popular Christian names such as Beth or Martha. For the most part, it’s because I know my father chose it with my wellbeing in mind. It reminds me that there are people who expect great things of me, who pray for my success in life. I do hope, that Ashtar blesses me with good luck. And also beauty and fighting skills, of course.

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